ak dh lme x bke blog ak

hari ak blaja satu bende

ak myb x bape bgs sgt mcm kwn ak nih

ak pon byk blaja n keep blaja utk excel dlm pe yg ak wat

tp ak ni keras kepala ckt

ape yg ak tgk hari ni

puan2 kt opis ak puji kwn ak yg kwn ak ni mcm diaorg

kwn ak ni ade ciri2 mcm diaorg

pastu ak pk...puan2 ni b4 ckp die pk yg ak ade kt c2

ape pndgn ak bile diaorg ckp mcm 2

w/pon ak tgk bende ni at the positive side

tp ak wonder kt diri send

np ak rs mcm trsindir

ak tau kwn ak ni mmg bgs dlm wat keje

die mmg fast leaner

n dia pon send admit die ske keje yg die wat nih

tp ak x mcm die

ade mase ak cpt blaja

tp bile tym blur ak 2 dtg

lmbt ckt ak nk fhm

ape motif puan2 2 ckp mcm 2

ntah ak pn x fhm

btol ak way keje kdg2 x bape detail

kdg2 ak ske amik mudah

tp at the same tym ak blaja dr kesilapn ak

n ak x keep repeating the same mistake

tp ntah la

myb Allah je tau kot

pn 2 ade niat ke x tym die ckp mcm 2

ntah ak pn x fhm

sbb 2 la kalo diaorg jmpe kwn2 ak nih

ak x amik port n ak x dgr conversation diaorg

coz ak pgg pada independent

die kwn ak

kwn yg baik ngn ak

so bile kt opis die kire org atsan ak

n ak akn buktikan

ak ble wat keje

ngn cara ak...

no more cry no more tears................

i HATE HIM......

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/photo.php?pid=142714&id=100000811116649

ni lah slah satu link yg menunjukkn pic die....mcm siotttttttttttt

its getting more n more painful...

jus a few minutes ago i open his gf fb...

n i just saw that his gf already change her status in a relationship....

sumpah ak jeles n x ske....he used to b mine...but now die ade org ln...

ak x tau mcm ner nk explain....

cme ak sgt rindu die....

x tau mcm ner nk ckp....he make mylife complete...

wat mase ni ak ttp dl hati ak

biar mase yg tentukan segalanya

tibe2 td ak pk punye pk...

ak rs dh tibe mase ak utk lpe kn die

ak tau die cari ak coz k.ayu xde kt cni

die boring

so ak dh hantar msj

ak ckp stop main kn hati ak

coz pape yg jd die ade akak 2

n weeknd je die mesti g jmpe akak 2 kn g date

so what for ak layan org yg xnk nilai syg ak selama 4thn

im decide...stop being a stupid

n its not worth anymore to crying for a person who dont love u anymore

even ak ckp kalo xnk jgk pulgkn brg 2

ak akan mintak dr akak 2...

die ptt tau ak slalu wat ape yg ak ckp

so its final....

ak nk blaja hidup send n bgn jatuh send

dh lme ak berkorban n mkn hati lately

enough its enough...

he still have her n u r alone....

die cari ko sbb die gaduh ngn akak 2

n mggu lps die lyn ko coz akak 2 g pahang

so bile akak 2 ade u r still leftover...

what for u r crying out loud to that person

its not worth anymore..

buttttt...............

i still love him........

ak rase pe yg ak rs 2 btol

die cme cari ak coz die boring

coz akak 2 xde kt cni

coz bile ak cari die...die x lyn

die kate main kompng

aihhh!!!!!

mai kompg dr pkl 12 smpai skrg ker

bkn ker die main kompg ptg2 jer besenyer

hmmmmm..........

laki ttp laki...

ak rs bodoh btol....

coz still cr die lg...

lgpon die tau ak xleh nk tggl knn die

2 la die slalu jer lyn ak

tp bile weeknd

x lyn

JAHATTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

haih....ak cbe benci die tp x leh

skt tol hati nih...

tp akk ttp nk die...coz die bleh fhm ak

org ln ssh nk fhm ak nih

hmmmm......

pnt la....pastu semlm die kate die peneman ak

padahal die yg bosan kn

awek xde kt cni

yelah papehal pon

die ttp ngn akak 2

ttp msj n kol akak 2

ak ni pe ade...

syg die pn ak x dapat

attention dr die pon ak dh x dapat

sme nye bg kt org ln kn....sedih tol...

np la ak ni jns yg lembut hati sgtttttt

bingung + pelik sme ade....

dh 2 ke 3 hari ni..slalu jer die hntar gmbr die....

lme die x hntr gmbr mcm 2.....

ak sgt rindu die....

pastu hari ni pon ak kejap je msj die

n bile mlm lps die blk suro n hntr pic die

ak trus lyn msj2 die....

sungguh ak rindu die

ak tanye btol ke die nk lps kn ak...

tp die ckp die confius....

xpe ak bg die mase....

mayb byk yg berlaku hanye hati die jer tahu

tp pape pon

die ttp ade ayuuuu.....

hmmmmmm...ssh ak nk ckp

ak pon seba slh kt ayu.

dia dh ade org ln....tp bile die msj ak lyn die

yeelah 4 thn ak dgn die bkn sng ak nk lps kn org yg dh jd apart frm ak

lps 2 td die koll...

x tentu arah ak....

lme die x kol ak....

bile ckp dlm hp....

ak tau ak sgt rindu suare die....

n gaya ak ckp ngn die mcm ktorg still dlm relation ktorg....

even tym mama die ckp ngn die

die x ttp pon hp

die biar je ak dgr....

n ak still ckp ak syg die

die pon sme....

tp cme confius satu jer...

makwe die skrg mcm ne....there is ??????

hmmmm....

ak pon nk ckp ngn die directly sy awk pon ak x bese

msj bole la....

cme harap die x main kn ak...

c pon ak harap die x cari ak sbb die bosan n sunyi...

It still feels like our first night together
Feels like the first kiss and
It's gettin' better baby
No one can better this
I'm still hold on and you're still the one
The first time our eyes met it's the same feelin' I get
Only feels much stronger and I wanna love ya longer
You still turn the fire on

So If you're feelin' lonely.. don't
You're the only one I'd ever want
I only wanna make it good
So if I love ya a little more than I should

Please forgive me I know not what I do
Please forgive me I can't stop lovin' you
Don't deny me

This pain I'm going through
Please forgive me
If I need ya like I do
Please believe me
Every word I say is true
Please forgive me I can't stop loving you
Still feels like our best times are together
Feels like the first touch

We're still gettin' closer baby
Can't get close enough I'm still holdin' on
You're still number one I remember the smell of your skin
I remember everything
I remember all your moves
I remember you
I remember the nights ya know I still do

One thing I'm sure of
Is the way we make love
And the one thing I depend on
Is for us to stay strong
With every word and every breath I'm prayin'
That's why I'm sayin'...

mgkin org akan kate ak ni bodoh...

coz ak ttp nk die...ttp nk msj die...

ak admit kdg2 ak rase bodoh....

tp ak sgt syg die....

ak xde jwpn knp ak nk berhenti cari die...

slame 4thn..ak jage hati die....

ak aggap die apart of ak...

mcm ne familt ak jd apart of ak...

so bile die xde...

ak sunyi.....

ak ni jns x reti berdikari....

sme die yg bantu....n die ade...

die pon x bg ak wat sst send...

even b4 wat kptsn ak tanye die

but now i have to decide myself....

i do miss him...

i miss his laugh...his smile...

his touch....

his voice...

he also a good singer....

i miss everthing abt him...

smtimes i do feel stupid...

y i cant hate him...

y i cant forget abt him....

but my heart cannot resist everything abt him...

he's really good...

i never feel empty when im wif him...

die didik ak....

ajar ak..ubh care pakai ak....

jd kn ak mcm wanita....

ajar ak pasal agama....

tp np die pilih org ln.....

kalo pasal mak die....

np x didik ak utk pujuk mama....

np x bg ak peluang....

kau tahu ak ni mcm budak2....

np x bg peluang!!!!!

n ape lebih akak 2...

tp soal hati ssh nk ckp kn....

ye soal hati mmg ssh nk jangka....

ak serah pada Allah....

smoge ak diberi peluang kedua dgn die...

tp ak seri bercinta....

n np ak still lyn die

ak pon x tau

ak x de jwpn....

lps 2....

ak rase die cari ak sbb die boring coz akak 2 xde kt cni

dat da reason jgk np die kuar ngn pmpuan ln

n np die ckp die ngn akak 2 bese2 jer....

coz ak dh bc kt fb akak 2 td....

coz diaorg gadoh.....

hmmmmm....x tau la....

ak sgt syg die...slame die ngn ak..ak sgt jage die

ak jaga pergaulan ak ngn laki ln....

ak x ske2 sembg ngn laki kalo xde bende x berkaitan...

2 sme coz ak tkot die cemburu....

kwn2 ak yg kt hostel dlu pon tau mcm ner ak jg hub ak

even bdk2 laki

die tau mcm ne bf ak nye cemburu....

tp the end...die ttp tggalkan ak

plg sedih die kate...die still syg ak tp dh x dpt tunjukkn syg...

ape bende 2 sme....

ya Allah kuat kn hati hamba mu ini.....

sng kn jadi lelaki....

sng awk ckp...awk syg sy tp awk x dpt nk tunjukkn syg 2 lg....

haishhhhhh......mcm ner sy nk trima....

laki yg sy sgt syg...

tggl kn sy mcm 2 jer....

sng awk ckp maaf....

tp 2 sme x bermakna dh...

awk ttp xkn kembali jgk dkt sy....

sy ttp alone & empty...

dont everybody deserve the second chance....

np xnk bg sy peluang 2....

x lyk ke sy utk dapat peluang 2....

np xnk cari jalan utk syg n cinta kn sy semula....

kalo dulu awk selalu riso sy berubah hati...

tp knp awk yg brubah....

n np sy x dapat benci awk mcm ner yg sy nk....

kalo sy dapat benci awk kn sng....

tp sy ttp harap smoga awk kembali pada sy...

n skrg pon...sy nk ttp hati sy dr mane2 lelaki...

sy tkot...sy x jmpe lelaki sebaik awk n sy tkot sy kecewa lg....

ckp la 4thn sy perthnkn hub ni...

last2 sy yg kecewa.....

hidup sy tunggang langgang....

mkn pon sy x mkn byk...tdo lg la....x tau bile nye nyenyak tdo sy...

smpai sy pk..nk je sy menjerit...lpskn sme yg sy rase.....

tp mcm ner....???

sme xkn kembali pada yg asal kn

awk ttp happy dgn die....

sy cbe utk happy...tp hati sy kosong...

kalo x kerana iman yg ade dlm hati...

sy x tau la nk wat ape....

mcm ner sy tau awk xkn kembali...

coz awk x cari pon sy....

tp demi Allah sy sgt syg awk...x brubah ckt pon syg sy...

slama 4thn kite bersm...

sme kehendak awk sy patuh....

sy x brani kwn ngn laki tkot awk cemburu....

tp pe yg sy dapat...skrg....

xde ape kn....

tp yg sy ta...skrg sy akan ttp pintu hati sy utk mane2 laki...

even pasal kawin pon sy tolak tepi....

kawin dh x penting utk sy....

sy xnk org skt kn hati sy....

sy xnk ditggalkn lg mcm nih...

sy tkot jmpe dgn org yg slah...

dan sy x mampu nk bg org ln hati sy mcm ner yg sy bg dkt awk...

terlalu byk kenangan kite...

biar la sy simpan...

lps sy dapat brg2 sy...

sy akan blaja utk benci awk...even sy xnk ade kaitan ngn awk...

ape2 brg yg berkaitan dgn awk...

sy akan lupakan....

kalo ade ubt yg bole buat sy lupe pasal awk dh lme sy amik...

even kalo minda sy mcm komputer...

sy nk padam sme memory pasal awk...

sy cme nk happy jer....walaupon tanpa awk n mane2 laki...

yg penting family happy...

n yg ln x penting...

15/06/2010

tarikh ak break off ngn die

ya Allah sungguh ak rindu dkt die but he wont b mine anymore...

i miss him...

every second i miss him....im still love him...

i try to hate him but i dunno how to do....

but i do realize he wont be mine anymore....

tp ak cme mintak satu jer ya Allah...kau tabah kn lah hatiku...

hati ak ckp rapuh....

ak tkot nk jmpe die....

even terserempak ngn die pon ak xnk....

ak tkot ngn prasaan ak send....

tp nape 16/06/2010 (semalam)

die hantar pic yg die nangis...

np nk nangis after what u have been done....

ak tahu ak x perfect...n kau spttnye didik ak utk fulfill ape yg mama nak...

ak tahu ak ni kebudak2kn....

tp kalo ko ayg ak ko didik ak...

n smlm ko nangis...pastu ko susun blk gmbr2 kite sme....

wat pe ko wat bende 2 sme....

xde makne dh...

ko xkn blk dkt ak....

ko dh pilih org ln...even malam yg kite putus...

ko mintak ak jgn salah kn ayu....

but fine ak x salah kn die...

bt i do hate her....wanna know why...

because im jeles....so jeles...

i cant even think how u touch her...hug her or even kiss her....

i try so hard to hold myself from crying....

because ur love means a lot to me....

but u already choose her....

dat the truth.....

even u bring her to meet mama....

n u dont even clash wif me by the time u couple wif her

its sooo sooo sad...by y after dat u crying...

u also da one who admit that...

ur love for me its not stronger anymore....

but y do u cry...

n i do know guy just sad...4 a while but not for woman....

know i try to reorganize everything in my life....

i dont wanna get married anymore...

i hate wedding n guys....

i just wanna work....

but still i love him...he the first n the last guy i ever love...

even he's shock that i've print out all of our photo together

yes i do print out....

because i treasure our relationship.....

dat y by the day i wanna hear from ur mouth that u want to break off with me

i bring all those thing that u already give to me....

i dont wanna keep even a little tine thng dat make me remembr u....

i throw it away to u...

because i wanna u to feel even for second....

how it feel to b leftout....

4 years relationship seems to b like a trash for u....

but i still do admit....u r the perfect guy i ever met..

loving,caring,funny, sensitive, etc...

u have all the criteria that i want...one of it is family man...

but u dont love me anymore.....

u dont love me....

dat its really heartful to accept all this thing....

hmmm....ckp pasal laki ni....

ak ade somebody yg ak sgt syg...sgt cinta....

die mmg xde kurg nye....

loving...caring....funny..and full of love....

but y lately i feel like...im losing him...

i miss him....

i miss him more than i can ever say....

but...lately...he not treat me like da way he always do....

he changed a bit...

he said he wanna relax 4 a while...

but i cant accept it,....

if i do change he will ask me...n show how he insecure wif my changes...

when he change...n i do show how i feel insecure...

he seems like not affected by it...

i do miss a lot abt him..

i couldnt even tell my friend abt my prob wif him...

coz im afraid they will have negative thinking abt him....

ya...Allah...ak sgt syg die....cinte die...

kekal kan jodoh kami smpai akhir hayat kami berdua...amin

x lme lg die nk merisik ak...n day 4 engagement n wedding...

akan ditetapkan....dont change syg...

i love u more than dat...

he busy..dont have much tym wif me...

and its seems like he quite different today....

i do meet him TODAY and he look fine...

then later he send a msg....

im feel strange because he's typing a certain word that he rarely used before...

i know u bz my love...

but do not change yourself not even for once....

i love you more than u ever know...

more than u ever feels...

u are the second person in my heart after my family....

dont ever leave me...

love me as i do loving you...

give me your heart as i do to you....

hmmm....at first i do angry wif those statement but when things going back to normal..

its not seem like normal anymore there not many conversation that i can make wif her...

.

.

.

i do admit the mistake that i make and also i forgive her....

i try to be matured although im quite disappointed that she also point out to the other person...

but its seems like i was the one who make things to b like this...

.

.

now she not sleeping at hall at all....

.

.

.

she sleep on her room..but it make me feels very sorry to her...

since she not comfortable with the room because its quite hot due to the whether nowadays...

i do feel sorry to her again...

i dont want to make she sad or angry...

by making thing to be as normal as i can...

it would take time....

but.............................

.

.

.

.

i dont know what to say..

she also less speaking nowadays...even i dont have faith to tell

everybody what was going on.....

SORRY GALSSSS................

haii ya....its been along time i didnt post anything on my blog...

u wanna noe y...b'coz its not my hobby...

but i jus started to write again...

i learn dat when the quite person start angry and mad...

the word dat coming out from their mouth its like a thunder on a cloud...

im...sorry i noe dat im not knowing dat u r really stressed

dat tym

n may b...u exploded juz b'coz u keed everything inside and blow it out...

last 2 days b'coz u cant hold it anymore...

u can made at me...

and i know its my fault bu dont point out ur angry to the rest of the house...

they not hurting u at all

they all concern abt u...even they know the u r tired wif ur work

u just can made at me....

i understood...plus i admit it was my fault...

it i stayed far or go near to sha to ask the question it may not happen

i thought the word the u written is from smbdy else...

but i read a few times n i noticed it coming out from u...

im sad i made u made and ashamed what i've been done to u....

.

.

.

.

i've been thinking...i may move from this house...

i know i cant speak at a low volume although i do try...

i will find other alternative...

firstly, i may looking for the job at nearest of my house...

but if i do get job around here...

i'm not sure i have a courage to stay here anymore...

even now i cant faced u...

i dont have dat courage...

.

.

.

.

it may seem like i wanna run away from problem...

but the sentence dat u given to me...its hardly to be accepted...

i dont want everybody get involved...

they're too nice...and i also dont want the rest of the house know abt this...

i will keep quite and leave the house... quietly...

they may b mad at me...

but i wont take long...may b i felt this way b'coz it newly happen

but i dunno dat icant get along wif u well in future...

even u has given me shirt fom pangkor and i owe u...thx for that..

what i'm hopping is sha is not quilty..plzzz speak to her...

if u juz wanna ignore me...

i can understood dat...